Chain Reaction

Children often act out as a result of something that has scared them, or perhaps an unfamiliar circumstance. Sometimes, when they are not at an age to reveal a problem, they act out in other ways, such as: crying during the night, wanting to be held, or have little appetite. Often, it is a mystery.  Clueless to the dilemma, you stumble on the cause. It can be a shadow on the wall, or maybe a bug they saw, or an animal that approached too quickly, not giving them the time to adjust to the situation. Or, a million other things, like a balloon popping or someone sneezing too loudly. My grandson often says "what's that noise," or what's that?"

It could also be an unfamiliar sound...  airplane, train or lightning or even the wind blowing during a storm. Once the mystery is revealed, you can deal with the problem. Once my oldest son, who as an infant at the time, pointed in the direction of a clown picture hanging on the wall of his bedroom, unable to speak, he revealed the long mystery of not wanting to go to bed. Once removed, the problem was solved. So simple, and amazingly we never thought of it.

If a child is not happy, no one will be. Trust me, we were always grateful to get to the root of the problem, even if we had no clue as how to resolve the situation. Can you imagine, he was afraid of a household fly. Flies are everywhere! The doctor assured us that if we allowed the fly to land on us, it would demonstrate to him that there is no concern, and that eventually the child would learn that its okay.

Recently, a two-year-old was playing on the couch with his do-do-blanket, placing it over his head, he said to me "I'm hiding." So playing along with him, I said "Okay, that's nice...why are you hiding?" and he related, "because I'm scared." In time, he may reveal that he saw an ant, which is his latest thing to get excited about each time he sees one. He thinks if he hides his head, he becomes invisible, just like a turtle. Actually, that's quite sensible when you think of it.

I have to be especially careful not "to act out" when I see creepy crawling things that startles me, cause if I'm startled, what affect with that have on him? We all know grampy hates spiders! I dislike carpenter bees that dash up close to you and stare you down. I am definitely a reactionary person, so this will be difficult for me.

The boys were at it again....this time it was toys. And, as in most cases the voice goes up, then fighting, then the tears, and grandma to the rescue. Sort of like a chain reaction. A learned one...There are many ways to resolve a problem, but once the loudness begins, the composure sort of slips. The secret is to "gain control in the first place", especially when it comes to a two-year-old. If you yell, he'll yell back "No" to you. Never give in to negative behavior by rewarding a child. But reward a child for his good, positive actions. Let him know of your approval, like "good job". Siblings must be taught to curtail the voice and look for positive resolutions like flipping a coin, or trading off for something else, avoiding the disappointment if at all possible. How about the not now, later routine. Soften the blow when you can. It helps to change the disposition of the child. At times, conditions can be set to achieve the goal.

The rule is simple. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." When someone yells or talks loudly, the defense mechanisms go on and then, your not listening "just reacting". Yelling causes you to become uncomfortable and that spells "scared." It says the other person is out of control. One only has to relate to being in the same situation, to relate to and understand what it feels like. You can walk away. Bad behavior does not get response, other than consistent correction that fits the action. Then they get to learn, when I do this, I get that...every time.

My mother-in-law always stepped in when someone got loud. It is after all, better to keep the peace and avoid confrontation. It's better to be diplomatic and that is something you must "work on" from the start. Just "learn" to get along. Try sharing, negotiation, and compromise. We all want to be happy don't we? It is not always what we say, as it is said, "actions are louder than words." That's for sure! But also, how we say something and the tone in which we say it matters.

Those little words like please and thank you, are like honey, soothing to the ears. And, just knowing how to say something, might get you all the things that you want and need without even trying. Isn't it better that way? Love, after all is a two-way street. Show kindness to one another, always.

Reactionary

Just about everyone has heard of Newton's 3 laws of motion. It says that forces come in pairs, force pairs. Understanding this theory and its application is important. Just what does it mean "To Every Action there is always an equal and opposite reaction"?  Does this law of physics hold true in most cases? What about yours? Are you balanced and how do we achieve balance? Why is this important? Without balance there is no PEACE. Learning and mastering the force field is critical to everything and everyone. So what is your state of motion in? Controlling your actions may determine your life.

Speaking solely about myself, I have learned that it is not so much the "action" but the reaction that causes me great concern at times. I can just see myself as a child yelling "no" into my parents face. No wonder I got the reaction that I deserved to get. While this might not be the opposite reaction, it sure didn't seem equal either. But it was "reactionary". Maybe not the one I expected or wanted. Hearing bad news has its "negative effect". We try not to be bearers of bad news or speak in a manner that will effect others "wrongly" or we might incur an endless rant back in our own direction as "what goes around certainly comes around, sometimes nastier, as an endless, vicious circle, an unbreakable pattern-- a cancerous, spreading, venomous stench exploiting the whole. It's sort of like the fish tale, bigger and better.

Recently, my old friend poison ivy came back. Equal and opposite reaction? No, not in my case. My body went to the fullest extent at it's vengeance to the poisonous oil treatment which the plant shared with me. Lesson to be learned, don't mess with me. I react. Who doesn't..If you hide things within, it does do it's damage in some way, to yourself. Others can see what you won't admit by your response, "I'm okay". Bad action creates anything but wellness. Perhaps, it was not anything that I could ultimately control, but the question was did I treat the condition correctly in the first place? Did I respond in the correct way using all the right ointments? Sometimes, it's just better to leave things alone. Did I add to the problem, perhaps...This time it took intervention. Thank God for good doctors.

There are some things that you can "learn to control" and we all do the best we can. One thing is certain, if you allow your body to get "out of control" by your actions, whether it be by eating, or abuse of any kind, you will suffer from the effects of your action, good or bad.

You've been warned...rant all you want, it may explode in your face. Some people have to experience heart attacks before learning that "nothing is worth that." Being uncontrolled in any manner can lead  ultimately to destruction.

If your action is wrongly placed toward anything or anyone else, you might be on the run for a long time to come. It can be endless. Unless we break the cycle.

It is better to acquire a spirit of gentleness, forgiveness and peace inside and out. And spread about a motion of goodness that it may come back to you in the form of joy and happiness, rather than kicking you in the butt. One theory I can agree with is, "what goes up will come down," and to what degree, is determined by you almost entirely.

Receive The Unwaning Light

What is meant by the unwaning light but to understand who is the Light of the world and that Light that you receive and  "Put on, is  Christ," who is arisen from the dead. Today being a Christian means more than just going through the motions, it means to be "transformed". It means being "all that you can be for Christ." It means not just saying your a Christian, but showing others that you are by your loving and respectful example. That means not me but Him through me. Are you Christ centered?

In years past, I was often criticised for not being as respectful toward others by the tone I showed toward them, especially those in "authority over me". It wasn't until I saw that same attitude being displayed by others, (which was undesirable), that I realized the need to be more guarded of my own actions. Simply you don't make friends that way. Another one of my burdens was lateness for everything, starting with school, class and then work. I had many excuses, the problem was mine alone. I had work to do, on myself, the only one that needed to change was me. Change only comes through realization, by having yourself exposed and being honest. It is called spiritual growth and we need to be sensitive to all of God's children as we are not at the same level, but are called slowly to understanding through God's Word.

Fast forward, I am no longer the proud one who never would wear a hat especially, that would spoil my hairdo, because it was all about how I looked. Today, it is on a very rare occasion that you would find me in church without a head covering, and on time. Not all people would understand the respect that I learned,  because I cherish my Lord, who sees into my heart. It is done in a spirit of being humble, recognizing that God resists the proud. When I draw near to Him, I do it in purity of heart, with preparation.

Many churches "soften the rules" to accommodate the masses of individuals who will come only if they can be assured of their comfort levels. Yet, does not a slippery slope assure the spiraling down? Is there is no limit to the requirements of some, like special seating, parking arrangements, air conditioning, names placed by donors for their edification and on and on. A non-compliant type will find any excuse not to be where they really do not want to be. This can ultimately relate to non-attendance. The attitude, is it going to be my way or the highway,  eventually means the dwindling of numbers and loss of support, in many ways. But what does that have to say about where we are spiritually?

What is your focus or rather, who is your focus on? Are you Christ centered or self-centered? Look not to the corrupting forces around you who are becoming more and more alienated from the truth, but look to Christ Jesus who is the Truth, and submit to God.

Take the time to read (James Chapter 4:6-11) "God resists the proud, But gives grace to the humble." Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Lament and mourn and weep! Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up." Do not speak evil of one another, brethren. He who speaks evil of a brother and judges his brother, speaks evil of the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge."

We must always interpret scriptures with the guidance of respected clergy, and scholars of the Orthodox faith working within an apostolic tradition. Taken from the Orthodox Study Bible (James 4:11,12) we are reminded "Belittling criticism of others is another way pride is revealed in our speech. It is a lack of faith united with evil works, an offense both to the person criticized and to God. There is one Lawgiver, who is able to save and to destroy. Who are you to judge another?"

Wow those are pretty strong words. Life is not easy. It is not easy to admit when we are wrong or when we have offended someone else. Even when we are trying to do the right thing. Then, I appreciate the "Unwaning Light" and all it has to offer all of us. Let the Unwaning light of Christ be my guide, on a sure and straight path which leads me to "life" with no uncertainty. And let not my pride stand in the way of good judgement. O joyful Light!

Finally, when I see with spiritual eyes, Christ naked and bleeding on the cross, as only part of the way that He was humiliated, out of respect, will I transform myself to what is pleasing to Him. We cannot serve two masters. I choose Christ. Forgive me all whom I have offended, my brothers. Let us all work to the greater good in upholding all that has been past down to us by those who gave so much of themselves for the faith that we cherish. And, as my mom used to say, "put a sock in it"... She meant to be careful of what you say to those you love, in order that you will not have to eat those words which cause conflict and damage, at a later time. We ought not be casting stones, as we are all sinners. (Taken from Hosea 6:6) The Lord tells us "For I desire mercy and not sacrifice, and the knowledge of God more than whole burnt offerings." (5) "And My judgment shall go forth as the Light."


All scriptural references are taken from the "Orthodox Study Bible"