Finding a virgin bride today is just as popular as finding church goers, far and few between. The desire to find yourself a virgin bride is noble but fruitless, as the custom went out of style before the sixties in this country. If you were still a virgin when you married, you were thought to be unattractive or taboo (off limits), for some reason. That reason may have been that you spent a lot of time in church and had a very strict set of "do and don'ts" expected of you by your parents. "My mom esteemed virginity, and marriage." So do I.
I didn't date much. I was too busy helping my family and of course going to school. It actually bothered me to think of myself as "one of the only virgins around, "still" and that was in the seventies. I guess you would have said of me that I was "old-fashioned, and on the defense."
Looking back, I'm sure it was the way I was raised. My mother was very much in control of her children and my dad made sure we were in the house, early. Almost like the years of chaperone's, we went out in groups. The commandments were drilled in our heads at Sunday school and prior generations who were found in a family-way were forced to give up their baby. I only learned years later why her older brother was adopted. Birth control was not as available and that was was not guaranteed to work. It wasn't free, and things were very different.
I was placed in a position where a man having lost his wife, and was living in this town, formerly from the old country, wanted to marry me. This arrangement would have left me "set financially." My mother disagreed, saying we are in America now and that is not the way it is done anymore, and I'd marry for love and for no other reason.
Change is what happens while life goes on and we need to keep up or we are on the outside looking in. Some changes were not good, but they happened anyway. When you are different for any reason you sometimes feel like a failure. Everyone must make his or her own decision in the end.
So what became unfashionable? Church, Virginity and life itself. All these are related to one question, and that is what is Love.
If you know where loves comes from, you will find a church where you can thank your maker who is Love Himself. If you have respect for yourself, then virginity is the natural way for you to be. And, married women seldom have need to destroy the child present in their womb, because that child gives life meaning and it is a precious gift from a loving God.
We all look for answers to the question why because we feel we are not doing our job. Our ideals cannot be forced on people who desire change and we have all heard the story about the wide and narrow path. Once you go down that road it is hard to find your way back. Will we in time understand the truth and walk the narrow path? Or, will time with it's multitude of changes mostly in err, according to the guideline of our earlier Christian upbringing, fall by the wayside?
Almost A Minyan
2 months ago