This is a follow-up to the previous post, about humbling yourself. Those who know me will tell you that I do not need someone to tell me what to do. I am a strong willed person. Growing in my faith, I have learned that humility is the first brick, so to speak, on the road paved to heaven.
I have never before been the type to ask my husband for permission. The world today does teach women, that is around here, NOT to be obedient as this is considered to be a sign of great weakness. I am learning, that it is not too late to change, if a Tax Collector could, following the example of Jesus, to be humble.
There is a natural order to things and it is normal for kids to look up to their parents and obey, as it should be for a wife and her husband. It is a question of trust. If you believe in the love of your spouse for you, it will guide you to a place of happiness, stemming from the mystery of real love. If that is not the case, you should not be married. If God has given you a protector, then, He has provided the means. We learn to trust by the example a loving God.
If I were in the "religious life" I would be responsible to a higher authority. Priests are accountable to their bishops, etc. As an Orthodox Christian, we must practice humility and obedience to God and, to those He places in our authority. It is a very difficult first step.
It wasn't long ago, as cantor, I was asked to consider wearing out of respect for the Eucharist, place and position, a head scarf. Initially, I was not to happy with the prospect of wearing anything on my head, as I never have, not even as a child. It was only "if " agreed upon by my husband. I was to ask him if he didn't object. Now that sounds silly to some, but it was a giant decision for me. Not so much covering the head, as that was scriptural and very clear. But, accepting my husband as authority over me, was a very big deal. Obtaining his permission, I learned to adapt, wearing the head covering. Surprisingly, I learned a lot in the process about myself.. and our relationship.
This small act of humility has changed my life, and my marriage, for the better. It was a big step. I'm finally getting to see that the world doesn't know anything about relationship, because many aren't happy. Just check statistics. If you want to be happy, then you have to go by the rules. God's rules. It means not only trust, respect, admiration, appreciation, but security, and a sense of peace of mind, sharing an everlasting and new meaning, of the a loving, and committed relationship with your spouse.
The vocation of Marriage is a mystery. That means you cannot fully understand everything but, accept God's will. When you are joined in Marriage, you are no longer two but become one. God looks down on a couple, and that couple has one head. There is only one headship in the church and in marriage. Wives are called to submit to their husbands as "equals," who look out for one another.
Submission is an act of humility. What does humility get you? "Everything. "When do you find obedience in your life? When you are ready....
Almost A Minyan
2 months ago