Are You Obedient to Your Spouse?

This is a follow-up to the previous post, about humbling yourself. Those who know me will tell you that I do not need someone to tell me what to do. I am a strong willed person. Growing in my faith, I have learned that humility is the first brick, so to speak, on the road paved to heaven.

I have never before been the type to ask my husband for permission. The world today does teach women, that is around here, NOT to be obedient as this is considered to be a sign of great weakness. I am learning, that it is not too late to change, if a Tax Collector could, following the example of Jesus, to be humble.

There is a natural order to things and it is normal for kids to look up to their parents and obey, as it should be for a wife and her husband. It is a question of trust. If you believe in the love of your spouse for you, it will guide you to a place of happiness, stemming from the mystery of real love. If that is not the case, you should not be married. If God has given you a protector, then, He has provided the means. We learn to trust by the example a loving God.

If I were in the "religious life" I would be responsible to a higher authority. Priests are accountable to their bishops, etc. As an Orthodox Christian, we must practice humility and obedience to God and, to those He places in our authority. It is a very difficult first step.

It wasn't long ago, as cantor, I was asked to consider wearing out of respect for the Eucharist, place and position, a head scarf. Initially, I was not to happy with the prospect of wearing anything on my head, as I never have, not even as a child. It was only "if " agreed upon by my husband. I was to ask him if he didn't object. Now that sounds silly to some, but it was a giant decision for me. Not so much covering the head, as that was scriptural and very clear. But, accepting my husband as authority over me, was a very big deal. Obtaining his permission, I learned to adapt, wearing the head covering. Surprisingly, I learned a lot in the process about myself.. and our relationship.

This small act of humility has changed my life, and my marriage, for the better. It was a big step. I'm finally getting to see that the world doesn't know anything about relationship, because many aren't happy. Just check statistics. If you want to be happy, then you have to go by the rules. God's rules. It means not only trust, respect, admiration, appreciation, but security, and a sense of peace of mind, sharing an everlasting and new meaning, of the a loving, and committed relationship with your spouse.

The vocation of Marriage is a mystery. That means you cannot fully understand everything but, accept God's will. When you are joined in Marriage, you are no longer two but become one. God looks down on a couple, and that couple has one head. There is only one headship in the church and in marriage. Wives are called to submit to their husbands as "equals," who look out for one another.

Submission is an act of humility. What does humility get you? "Everything. "When do you find obedience in your life? When you are ready....

What type of Guy is he?

Every year when we begin the Triodion, we are looking at the characters of two men. One is a Pharisee the other, a tax collector, and from their example, we learn the message of humility.

Years ago, when a group of us were studying the gospel, we were encouraged to put our thoughts as to how we would look upon these two men today. Then, we were to examine how Jesus may have looked upon them. How does Jesus look upon us?

Matthew tells us that the Pharisees were all about entangling Him in His talk. Remember the famous line "Why do you test Me, you hypocrites"? The other, "Render therefore to Caesar the things that are Caesar's."

Jesus knew how to silence them, with His questions. He could see right through them, as the secrets of their hearts were revealed to the Divine God, who knew just how to answer their questions in a way that were totally awesome.

The character of the Pharisee was today's know it all, the one with all the answers, because you are nothing and know nothing, just do things as I say, type. He would be the one to want to quickly belittle you in front of other's, to make him look like the big authority. It is all about him. He has you under a microscope and wants to crush you like the maggot you are, so you had better comply to his will. Unable to think for yourself, he must control you. He justifies himself before God and men, saying I live correctly, doing all the things prescribed by the law. Of course he's not like other men, he's better. He's an example of Prideful, boastful and arrogant. Self glorification, and (A look at me kind of guy). God knows just who and what he is....anything but humble.

The Tax Collector is no better. Taking from other's who have very little, in a form of steeling. After all, it is his job. He was a man who was probably despised by many. He was living an extravagant life at the expense of others, having engaged in an occupation that was not admirable, that he knew was wrong, because it hurt his brothers.

They were both sinners, as we all are. If we were to look at both of them, in today's society, we probably would judge in favor of the Pharisee, the upright man over the tax collector. How wrong we are then, most of the time, in our dealings with our fellow man.

Jesus knew that the tax collector had remorse in his heart and wished to change. The heavy burden of the tax collector, is apparent upon entrance of the temple, as he was unable to lift his eyes to heaven, praying to God to have mercy upon him, "a sinner."

The end of the parable teaches us that if you do not become humble, you will be humbled. After all, we are but dust, clay molded and formed from hands of our maker, who loves us more than we are entitled, nor can we understand, in the dept of our unworthiness, who cry out, "Have Mercy Upon Me, O Lord, a sinner."


Step number one is that we MUST be rooted in humility, an example given by Christ Jesus Himself. "Learn from Me for I am gentle and lowly in heart." (Matt Chapter 11:29)

The gospel references are taken from The Orthodox Study Bible. (see also) Matthew 22:15, and Luke 18:10-14.

The Lenten season introduces many of my favorite hymns. This troparia accompanies us throughout Lent: Taken from the Great Lent Journey to Pascha, written by, Alexander Schmemann is the following:

Open to me the gates of repentance, O Giver of Life,
For my spirit rises early to pray towards Thy holy temple,
Bearing the temple of my body all defiled;
But in Thy compassion, purify me by the loving kindness of Thy mercy.

Lead me on the paths of salvation, O Mother of God,
For I have profaned my soul with shameful sins,
and have wasted my life in laziness.
But by your intercessions, deliver me from all impurity.

When I think of the many evil things I have done, wretch that I am,
I tremble at the fearful day of judgement.
But trusting in Thy loving kindness, like David I cry to Thee:
Have mery on me, O God, according to Thy great mercy.

This is where we begin....Begin, to get our "hearts right."
Without God, we are nothing......

He Says He's too Old For What?....

Don't make me laugh, that you would allow having someone tell you that your too old for active service, or to do anything! Your only as old as you feel. There are people younger than I am that cannot do the things that I'm capable of doing. Age is just a number, a place that can be used as a cut-off point.

Clearly some people retire at a young age only to go on to a livelier and more active way of life, and live to a ripe old age. We are all individuals and age has very little to do with our accomplishments, if we chose to do something. Just because we can, should not be a criteria for doing something that lacks common sense. The infant who has a mother of 76 years of age, in no way can compare to a younger and vigorous mother, no matter what is said.

Age is a mindset, a marker to realism. A place to start and a measure. Obstacle are what we put in the way of our accomplishments. The 40 year old today, is not the same as the 40 year old of yesteryear's. People seem to be enjoying a longer lifespan. Consequently, if you have taken care of yourself, there may be plenty of time ahead to worry about aging. If, technology keeps advancing as it is now, it may not even be a concern by the time you get to markers that tout you as too old.

Too old for what? Your never too old, it is not how old you are, but, how old you feel. The best way to handle that, is to not dwell on it, but to laugh it off....

Getting from Here to There

If you want to get from here to there, you need to use your GPS. The course will be mapped out for you, and all you need do is pay attention to the signs. Adding a human touch, a voice will direct you, telling you where to go and when to turn.

We are on the fifth Sunday before Lent. Our journey to Pascha begins with Zacchaeus. The gospel story is found only in Luke, but it has a huge significance. So where is this character, Zacchaeus? He is up in a Sycamore tree. We are en route and encounter a tree. This is no ordinary tree, but one of the oldest species of trees on this earth. Bidisha Mukherjee, published on May 21, 2010 information concerning the tree in which Zacchaeus was perched on. Go here to read more. The huge tree that is capable of growing to 100 feet, is a symbol of strength, hope, protection, eternity, and divinity.

What we know about Zacchaeus was he was a "chief" tax collector, a rich man of short stature. Often, we have to read between the lines to get all the facts. First of all, his name means pure and innocent one, which did not seem to fit him at all. It certainly would seem that Zacchaeus, who was despised by many, had lost his way and like all of us, he was on a journey, looking for something of greatness. Perhaps, he had heard about the blind man of Jericho, who had been healed.

It is said of short men that they, especially if their eyes are small, are known to be shrewd, use a lot of tactics, are intelligent, and are known for mental acuteness. Zacchaeus was no different, as he wanted something and knew how to get it. Being short, he knew he would be able to see Jesus, and desiring it greatly, and in anticipation of His arrival, climbed up this monster of a tree. Possibly, knowing or sensing that Jesus would not approve of him, a known sinner, he would be protected and well hidden.

Little did he know he was on the road to repentence. When Jesus arrived at the place, He looked up -- you cannot hide from Him. Then we read in (Luke 19:5) "And when Jesus came to the place, He looked up and saw him, and said to him, "Zacchaeus, make haste and come down, for today I must stay at your house."

Zacchaeus came down and received Him joyfully.

Lots of things come to my mind when I hear this story. None of us feel worthy to receive Jesus and like Zacchaeus, we sense the majesty of Jesus and know that often things get in our way from seeing Him. I can envision the crowd surrounding Him, just like a superstar in the presence of a multitude of fans, pushing, and taking pictures and rarely allowing a short person to get even a glimpse. Zacchaeus would not miss out for he knew He was going to pass that way.

These same people who surrounded Jesus at a happier time, would also surround Him on the way to Calvary--mocking, spitting, cursing and denying Him.

So that is where we begin, this story tells us that for a short man, he had faith, desire and one big heart. There is always the condition. Zaccheus was willing to change and he gave half of his goods to the poor, and restored what he had taken, fourfold.

(Luke 19:9-10) And Jesus said to him, "Today salvation has come to this house, because he also is a son of Abraham; (10) "for the Son of Man has come to seek and to save that which was lost."

We've been down that road before. The one and only road that leads to salvation. It begins with the word MUST, the same direction given to Zacchaeus by Jesus. Looking up the word "must", we find it means obligation, requirement, necessity. It is an expression of compulsion and we meet Zacchaeus on the road to the way, holding up a sign. "Desire," and "Change of Heart." You are on the road to repentance. Jesus has come to seek an save that which was lost. All mankind. You and I.

The road to repentance is no ordinary journey. Are you prepared to receive "the invitation" for Jesus to stay at your house? Is your response joy-filled, like Zacchaeus? Even so, let us begin....

Scripture referrences have been taken from The Orthodox Study Bible

Renewal, The Creator's plan

The great psalm of Vespers on Saturday, begins with a poetic rendition of Genesis, which is recited at sundown, the beginning of a new day. (Ps. 104:29) "You hide Your face, they are troubled; You take away their breath, they die and return to their dust." (30) "You send forth Your Spirit, they are created; and You renew the face of the earth."

Another of my favorite verses comes from (Revelation, 21:5 )"Then He who sat on the throne said, "Behold, I make all things new," (Scripture references are taken from: The Orthodox Study Bible)

We are designed for change, and renewal, from Genesis to Revelation, this is the plan revealed by our Creator. Renewal is who we are and what we are made of. As we enter this life, our body is designed to replace it's "old cells" renewing our physical composition with "new cells." We are Baptised, putting on the "new man," having "newness of Life" in Christ, which is our renewal, and a prelude to the resurrection of our body at Christ's second coming. (Col:3:10) "and have put on the new man who is renewed in knowledge according to the image of Him who created Him," (our goal is to become like Christ). We constantly are striving to renew our spiritual selves to that Baptismal state, by God's grace.

Almost everything eventually grows old and tired and needs to be "renewed." Mandated by law are renewals, for example: of your license and registration, if you drive a car. Insurance policies, bank CD's, licenses of all type, which have expiration dates, require renewal. If you are a homeowner, then you know that items like smoke detector's/CO's and the like, require renewal, as required by law due to code modifications.

Essentials such as: tired sneakers, faded wallpaper, and many other items which become worn or torn, eventually reach a point where they must be renewed.

The renewal of marriage vows has become popular after sharing many years, and as well, there are renewals of oaths and made after elections, as one term ends and another begins. There is the renewal of a promise made, or commitment, for whatever reason...

All life requires renewal. We are renewed, sustained and rejuvenated in many ways. We seek to be replugged, and being aware of our need to be renewed, it is a decision that we must make for ourselves and our circumstances. After a good night's rest, or a good meal, a brisk walk, or an encounter with someone we love, we feel renewed.

Taken from Isaiah 40:31 "But those who wait on God shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not hunger." (41) "Be renewed before Me"

Orthodox Christians each year enter into a time of spiritual renewal. A time to refocus, slowing down our lives in prepartion to grow spiritualy and encounter the Living God. We travel with Him down the road of His life, experience His plan of Salvation through the cross, and profess belief in His glorious Resurrection. We are "renewed" by Him as we participate in the feastday, "Pascha," and encounter the fire of His love, and His desire "To Make All Things New." It is an enactment and Renewal of our Baptism, our "putting on Christ," now, and for all eternity.

There is Always An Opportunity to Learn A Lesson

Every situation in life, good or bad, presents an opportunity for growth, and an opportunity to learn a lesson. Each lesson will be different, depending on your experience.

I recall attending a meeting, where I suggested that before we endeavor to consider venturing into a project, we should try to anticipate the needs, problems and provide a plan of action before we decide if it is feasible to go forward. My idea was shot down immediately, with the reaction being, if we have problems, we will address them as they arise.

This January has demonstrated the value of what I said at that meeting. Anticipation of what could happen, and having a protocol in place, lessons the chance of compounding a problem, or avoiding it altogether.

We may not have been able to stop the storms and all the complications incurred as a result of them. Upon hearing about them heading toward us, we're off to the store to buy milk and bread. If this is how we prepare for survival, we simply are not prepared. This winter has taught many of us a lesson. It is a blessing sometimes when we are awakened from the error of denial. Next, I'm sure we could be facing the flooding caused by the endless snow mounds, seeping into the basement of many residents, even those who have not had the experience with run offs previously. Consider moving things to higher ground, if possible--now.

Here are a few things that you should always carry in your car in the winter: boots, a warm hat and gloves, just in case you are on the road and stopped for a good amount of time, no matter what the distance. A blanket wouldn't hurt either and also water. It is wise to fill up your gas tank. How do you know that the station you are relying on is going to be open when you get there? No one wants to be stranded for any reason during a storm. Should you need to spend the night unexpectedly, you should also have additional medications and some extra cash and a flashlight.

Many have experienced damage in their homes that could have been prevented with a watchful eye, and an action plan. Keeping ice off of gutter's is not always possible, but excess snow amounts, near the gutters can be raked down by utilizing a snow rake, preventing excesses from accumulating and causing an ice dam. This was the year people learned about the use of a snow rake, the many who needed one but were unable to purchase it, due to high demand, and unavailability. In fact, I heard where one company had it in stock for rental, raking in the bucks. It's also a good time to have in place a good ice pick and hammer for chipping ice down from the gutter edge, if water is escaping in the form of ice, which accumulates on your building. Sometimes, you just cannot do the job yourself, safely. Know who is available and on-call---in the ready. Hiring someone, can be near impossible unless you have a regular on the payroll, or know a family member/friend who can help out.

Action plans must be developed, like keeping doors operable, that may require your cleaning in front of them several times during a storm. Limiting your entrance until you can get it cleaned out and having prior instructions to those who visit your home, office or facility by way of a sign or "rope " with colored, visible hanging fabric, may be a temporary way to deal with ice or unsafe entrance. Places should be well lit, and battery operated radios and flashlights are most beneficial in an emergency, where you could lose power sources.

I know two people who could not get their snow blowers to start, so off for maintenance, which I'm told required a truck and running boards to transport the equipment, only to find they were number twenty-something. What is plan number two, in the event of equipment failure?

When I hear of possible outages, I always cook ahead. It is better to eat cold than not at all. I usually make hard boiled eggs, a loaf of some kind, cornbread, and of course canned foods--making sure I know where the hand-held can opener is. Water is an essential. Believe me, keeping foods cold will be the least of your worries.

We often hear of evacuation to safe locations. Do you know where there is one closest to your home? I don't. How will you hear of it without a battery operated radio? Most cell phones do not work during an emergency, as we have experienced in the past, your on your own.

Communication is the very most important consideration...Where are your family members and do they know how to reach you, where will they will find you? Do you know who is in your dwelling? Can you give a count? Should the lights go out in a hall or at an event, do you know who was sitting at your table? Who is the go to person? Who do we call that is in charge of the building? A "Plan of Action" should already exist as to who should be called in any emergency and what needs to be done as a result. An emergency meeting may have to be called to "decide" on the best plan of action according to safety and other specifics.

Anticipation of problems, countered with a clear-cut and a well developed plan of action, is the key to helping prevent serious injury and loss. Either way, this opportunity for "preparedness" can be developed either before or after an event, such as we just encountered, the choice is yours. Lack of communication and information, in the end will cost you more than you may be willing to pay--and that is a lesson that may be learned the hard way.

It's A Long, Long Road

This has been a week for news. Lord help Australia, and the citizens of the middle east. The citizens of the U.S. states and I, are wondering how long the storms will process themselves, dumping more snow than we are able to handle, in a short amount of time.

There are all sort of storms aren't there... and, looking out of our window I want to scream, "stop now"! Nature has always had a huge impact on me. Jesus tackled the winds and waves by His command. The apostles were surely lucky to have Him intervene at a time when they felt they were perishing.

We are being invaded by the white stuff, and if it continues, we will be engulfed in it. Buried in a frozen death, unable to run from it or deterred from it, and we are helpless but to endure it. I'm wondering if this is worse than a summer or spring hurricane? I believe it is, given the problems we will entail when all of this stuff melts, and our rivers will overflow their boundaries. The amount of ice in our gutters, and all our neighbors may be a warning of more fun to come, structurally.

Relentlessly, we have shovelled and removed as much ice as possible. People have tried to get snow rakes which are selling by the hundreds in this area, falling short of the demand. Luckily, since I have used one previously, I was able to lend it out to my immediate neighbors. The good news about where I live, is that we all share our talents and goods to help each other. It is rare these days, where people just take care of their own. My neighbor actually came over to help me shovel my front walk and stairs, after doing her own. Her husband back plows our drive at no charge. We share cleaning drains and fire hydrants. That is what makes America so special. We work together for the good of all. We like so many others in their neighborhoods and work places, are bracing ourselves for more to come. There are distant forecasts predicting yet another weekend storm.

Today is groundhog day and I am hopeful for an early spring. I can see the daffodils, and smell the lilac. We will welcome the nesting birds and their song. I can also envision the open window, smelling the clean, fresh air as it streams through the room, ruffling the curtain in it's way. I will look for signs of new life and the long awaited season, spring. The sun will engulf the room, as I look forward to drinking it in. It is progressing ever so slowly, even now, yet, in about a month and a half, it will arrive, gloriously.

Does dreaming help you get through the storm? Yes, it does. I will cuddle up, snuggled in my fleece comforter and think positive thoughts, sipping my flavored coffee, while listening to one of the newest radio stations WQVRTheeye, which plays some of my favorite country tunes.

If the groundhog didn't come out today, I don't blame him. I don't want to go out either...

The time has come when our burdens can only be lightened by the loving gestures of a friend or caring neighbor. We are all someones neighbor. Tell someone you love them today. Send them flowers, speak to them over the phone. Enjoy a meal together, or a song, or a memory. Remember the words to the song "The Road is long...."a song famous in the sixties? It's something like this:

The road is long with many a winding turn
that leads us to who knows where, who knows where.
But I'm strong, strong enough to carry him,
he ain't heavy, he's my brother.

So on we go, his welfare is my concern.
No burden is he to bear, we'll get there.
For I know, he would not encumber me.
He ain't heavy, he's my brother.

If I'm laden at all, I'm laden with sadness...
that every one's heart isn't filled with the gladness of love,
for one another.

It a long, long road from which there is no return,
while we're on the way to there, why not share...
And the load doesn't weigh me down at all,
He ain't heavy, he's my brother.

The world is going through a time when we need a moment of gladness and love for one another. Let's clean up the mess together, and help lighten the load...for life my brother, is a long, long road.