Understanding the need of your child effects positive result. It begins with communication. In this case knowing that your child wants and needs to please you. It can be confusing, for example, as a baby there is no bathroom responsibility. Out comes the potty and now comfortable or not in our previous accommodation, the diaper, we now must use a toilet.
It is a big step in the growth and development of a small child. When the parents think it will never happen and their about to give up, a small wonder... the child catches on. I do believe that boys take longer than girls, for some reason.
The key is to zone in on specifics of your child. In this case the young man is very smart and sensitive at the same time. He wants to feel good about his accomplishments, and is devastated into almost giving up when criticized. He's always been cautious by nature. But then, there's no stopping him once he is confident that it is safe.
As the child gets older the parents are embarrassed when he or she is not toilet trained especially when day care providers start with their wisecracks. Everyone else is, why not "Johnny" or Jill, even the younger children are. "How's he doing with the potty?" Talk about putting on the guilt trip. The parents become beside themselves, wondering what they are doing wrong. Surely, everyone knows that they have tried everything. The first question is "is the child ready?" or obstinate. Maybe their child is just to absorbed in whatever they are doing, and not really listening.
Listening is never a problem when it is something they want. Sometimes giving a child his reward first works. Sometimes right after a job well done works suggesting that every child is different and interacts differently with different people. It depends what they can get away with and they know. Irregardless, they must learn to be toilet trained, and it's your responsibility. It is a long repetitious process which takes more patience than most working parents have.
Today, was a celebration! A job well-done by the parents who raised his awareness of having to, by setting a timer all by himself, because he likes to show us what he can do, because he is a very smart boy. Now, having done that, the alarm reminds him "to check in to the bathroom." A habit which has proved to be successful. Then there are the "rules" that we go before leaving the house and once we return and before going to bed and when we get up. After all, all he wants is to be a good boy for his parents, so they will love him, as they surely do, because he lives for them.
The reward was praise from his parents and all who would listen. He is now wearing big-boy pants, having crossed a new thresh hold and is like his peers, wearing "no more baby pull ups". He's advanced, proudly. His voice reflected how happy he felt.
Showing further confidence in his ability to handle bathroom responsibilities, he was allow to "dispose of the former," and in exchange, is wearing Wally underwear.
Grandma was so happy! He got cookies and grapes, a huge sticker and many hugs. Yes he can do it. All he had to do was believe in himself. Will he still hang on to my drapes, looking down at the floor on occasion, or mess up from time to time? Perhaps. I'm sure we all did. I'm sure he probably has that on the back of his mind, too! It's only natural.
Today I saw on his dad's hand held camera, the video of when he was walking for the first time. I think it was the third day and it was quite humorous. Looking very stiff, a reminder of how scary it was, he was probably thinking that at any given moment, he would fall, once again. I remember the joy I felt on that Easter Sunday, when he came to visit and I saw him walking down the hall, all grown up in a little suit.
Isn't that what life is all about? Falling and getting up again and in it's experience knowing that no, we don't want to do that again.
All I know is that he was happy that he made someone he loves, his daddy, very very happy. And that made him happy too! Because, he proudly is a big boy now.
He is a man after all just in smaller trousers.
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