Sure enough while talking with my mother-in-law, I knew the subject would come up. Just seems you can't avoid it. It's all over the news, radio, and Internet. So, I tried to skirt the issue. But no, she insisted to pursue dragging the guy down, and now where is this family to go without all the snickering, and gossip? Does the media care that children are involved in this mess? Marriage is supposed to be "closed doors," private, between the two of them "period." Okay, so he is renown for the athlete he is, and he has an image to uphold. We are all so shocked to learn the repeated and sordid "so called facts." There are two sides to every story and more than that meets the eye, so we ought not judge.
Obviously, there are problems that exist, that are not our business. Adultery is not a new condition but one we find even the Lord had something to say about as men put woman aside, divorcing them for sometimes younger gals. See (Luke 16:18, permanence of marriage is made the standard).
The standard does "not imply" that all marriages are made in heaven, and there is room for "compassion" as shown through the church. There is a time to let go, if it just doesn't work out. It is not a simple process, which comes with a high cost. Divorce is a separation, regardless of the reason. It is a painful experience for the entire family, and never to be taken lightly.
Statistics say that more than fifty percent of marriages fail. Sadly, many have lost their moral compass in this culture, lacking accountability to their relationship. Unresolved problems end up in distance and brokenness.
Like everything else, marriage must have a good foundation, called Truth. If it is not based on truth, you are living a lie.
It must be nourished. Without good food it will be starved off. If attention is the problem, or communication, it will be found somewhere else. Often there are many and different diversions. Preoccupation with "other things" that are more important than your spouse, may be a first sign of the impending separation.
When you were first in love you had many secrets, and couldn't wait to see each other. Just to hear his voice over the phone was special. Did it take so much work then?
Sometimes you can get it back. It all depends on how hard you both want to work at it. Other times, the trust is broken, a trust that said "I will never let you down, and I can depend on you no matter what." It must be mutual. If not, it's not the end of the world, however difficult, move on. Your life is not ended, just changed.
Dealing with the shock is another matter. There is room for forgiveness. Then, there is room for forgiveness, but. There are cases where you just can't put the pieces together again.
Open and honest communication is what's needed.
Broken people need messages of hope and comfort. Suffering is not a picnic. Think about that the next time you may want to drag someone through the mud who is already drowning in "sorrow, loneliness, and indecision. Yet, it seems you can't wait to talk about it.
Regardless of who's at fault, sometimes love and trust is lost and you just can't get it back.
Maybe he just thought he could have his cake and eat it too? I doubt it, most men who have happy marriages, do not cheat on their wives. They can't wait to share everything with them. Better we change the subject, it's Christmas after all, and for some out there it just won't be Merry, no matter how much money or youth they have.
Almost A Minyan
2 months ago