Rarely we get a chance to peek into a land, unlike ours, where women are not glad and wish to be anything but women. Living in a country where dating is illegal, and just mixing with the opposite sex is punishable with house arrest, deportation, or jailing just for courting a male, where strict adherence to the law is observed.
Then it happened, and, in the book that I am now reading, the author expresses a mystery that would form a road map into his heart. It was the unspeakable, as they are not allowed to look into the eyes of a man, yet, in that moment his eyes locked with hers, deep blue, she liked him immediately. Admiringly, and for the first time, she was glad to be a woman.
Her heart went undercover, observing the very things it needs to know, impulsively. She began to know what every woman knows, that the heart rules the head. She has become vulnerable. She steels glimpses, lowering her gaze. Her eyes dilate with attraction, living in a sterile world, all sexuality is permanently concealed. It is not allowed nor tolerated. Her femininity is alive in her, and she is transformed. She is preoccupied with thoughts of him.
Every word must be guarded, even those which are silent. The language of the heart, needs nothing more....existing if for nothing else but a thorn in one's side, never to be overcome. It will not be denied. It can't be taken back. It will seek him out, even if under penalty.
The object of her desire, she would have to see him, only to suffer later at not hearing his voice or being near. She calls him, it is for business reasons, increasing her personal contact with him. She learned all about him through the E-mail. She can't help but smile, feeling anticipated excitement, delicious and forgotten sensations.
She learns what every woman sooner or later must know. There is no comfort and no cure, for the heart is relentless...an endless sea of suffering and longing.
I sometimes ask myself, is this the look of love that Jesus was able to transmit to others. The look which is wordless, yet says it all? Love has a language of its own. In the end, would she really have a choice?
Almost A Minyan
2 months ago