Making decisions at any age

We all would like to think we make decisions for ourselves, and are the sole designators of our existence. It starts young I noticed as the littlest one has learned the word "no" or "I don't want". The word "No" I avoid at all cost. Once you get a person in a negative mode, forget it. I like to get my own way. Most people do. One of the biggest mistakes you can make with someone is trying to impose your view on them. Is it not okay to express yourself? Can't there be compromise? I agree that the most important rule here is that the parents are the final authority and I check with the parents in front of the child. No authority, no security. It is wise to develop good parenting skills. We all need someone to look up to. That is why we teach our children about prayer and God by our example. If we need God, they do too. There should be limits and children learn the rules that we set for them. Expression starts young, with I like, and in this case it was flags. Everywhere we went we acknowledge the flag. In church there was a flag, and on the occasion of Baptism he wanted to hold the flag, loudly. If we don't get to hold the flag we cry, loudly. We had flags on the table while we ate, and when we went for carriage rides, he held one. If was okay during the parade on Memorial Day, in fact, we got more little flags to decorate our room. Then there is the flag stickers, everywhere. Flags on our hat, sweatshirt and toys. We at some point wondered if he was obsessed with flags. Now we know that this too won't last as other things have replaced the faded interest, like basketball.
One of Nathans great interests besides trucks and cars, is sports. He loves to watch football and baseball on television. It is funny to see him pitch the ball, just like the professionals. And, you should see him tackle grampy. He can't wait for grampy to come home from work to play pass, cars or basketball. Some Wednesdays, I take him to the church to play in the sand with his trucks while I tend the flowers. He has a lellow(that's what he calls it) watering can. Linda taught him how to play in the water. Now he wants to see water everywhere, especially the drains on the side of the road, which he's been eyeing from his carriage rides early on.
The weather has changed to fall, and with that cool mornings. What a fuss we are going to have to get him to want to wear his fall sweats, and I can't wait till we have to put on his boots again this winter. I don't blame him as I also prefer the casual dress that summer offers, bare minimum. Kids hate the feeling of being forced to do things. Neither do I, and we are both strong-willed people. I don't give him much in his plate, and usually ask him if he is hungry to begin with. I wait until he asks for food. "Grandma I'm hungry". Then, I wait for the "more please". I've noticed he eats a lot when he doesn't realize how much there is to consume, seeing it only a piece at a time. I never load up his plate. Saturday, we went to McDonald's after attending the exhibit for trucks on the Common of the small town he lives in. He ate all the fries first. We took the chicken nuggets home. When he wanted to eat my lunch, I gave him his leftovers which he was hungry for at that time. No fighting, no fussing, I don't tolerate it. Kids like to play with their food, we use cream, ketchup, and no force. I make food designs, broccoli are trees for an example, and we laugh a lot. When all else fails I say, "lets give puppy a turn", and we all have turns, even the tiny stuffed snoopy white. Choices, making decisions, not like I was raised "do it because I said so and I'm the boss, " or here comes the punishment. No, not a good way. Shouldn't we be treating others the way that we would like to be treated? Limit the choices, this one or this one, allowing them to participate in the decision. That does not mean that you have lost your position of authority. I told Nathan that when he is with me I am boss number one and he is boss number 2. (That is, when grampy is not around). He thinks that's special. What you get in the end is a happy and "full" child, who is wearing something he thinks he decided to wear and participated in all choices. It is as simple as saying what color are we going to use now? Otherwise, you will have a frustrated, resentful, obstinate, rebellious child who will carry those feeling into his teen-age years and will unknowingly act out.
Nathan told me what he likes, and that is to laugh. Don't blame him one bit, he does enough crying from all the boo-boos.
You can't be happy unless you participate in life. Nathan better learn now how to make good decisions--as he hopefully will do all his life. Our responsibility, all of us, is to help him with that by offering choices he can live with.
We have a new saying. I say "Me too!" and he says it back and we both giggle. He is such an agreeable child and so much fun.