Humiliation

My mother was a stickler for indirectly bragging about how well her children listened. She was so proud of the way we marched uptown holding hands, and don't touch a thing in the store, mind you. It makes sense to have your kids under control, that is, you don't want them to run into the street and get run over. Every parent wants to brag about how well their child behaves.
It didn't stop there, when we went somewhere we were to sit quietly and not make a peep. If someone offered us something to eat, we must say no thank you, even if we wanted some. At grandma's house?
Times sure have changed, or perhaps she was a little stricter than most parents. Children have feelings. They are people, just little people. They harbor resentment especially against being treated badly or being made an example of. The old expression, what goes around, comes around is true. Be on guard about publicly reprimanding your child. Humiliation works but, do you want to suffer retaliation down the road. If you think your child forgets, guess again. I have clear memories earlier than three and four. Instead, why not just love your child. Let them be real people. That's all they need.
This came to mind today when I saw a teen-age boy holding what initially looked like a sign, outdoors. No, it was "his report card." Further, it said something that implied that he was not going too far in life. (Degrading). That's when I learned that the new F is "E." Later, on the Fox (Channel 45), he was interviewed with his parents. I'm quick to catch people's expressions. (How would you feel?) I'm not down on his parents, they checked with the doctor, and teachers, and in fact, went through the process of finding the problem. There just has to be one. I saw the young man's face when the host remarked that he got an "A," saying "good job on that!" He was like Pinocchio coming alive. Acceptance as you as are is important. If your loved and accepted then you'll want to please someone because you also love them. Expectations are totally out of whack, sometimes you just have to understand that. If a person is not full of pain from being mentally flogged, they just may find that there is something "special" in them after all, and work toward the interest that they have been blessed with. Everyone has talent, but finding it is the key. Some kids are super sensitive, and may get hurt just hearing even "one" negative word about how you feel toward them.
Parents want their kids to have all "A's" Maybe they need to be reeducated. First, appreciate your child, because that child is uniquely made. And, that alone makes (him or her),"special." Here's the real question. Can you love them just as they are? Start there. We are all too judgemental, after all. If you can't love them, how are they going to love themselves? I think making an example of this kid, was poor judgement. I'm sure if he has the capacity to learn, he will try harder. But what did this do to this family ultimately, I wonder?
What is the cost of throwing your child under the bus? Your relationship. They may not like you. Are you willing to take that risk? My point is, like the host on the program, you catch more flies with honey, just praise and stress the positive, try to overlook the negative. They'll get it eventually. Why? Because they love you. And, it really is that simple. It comes down to affection, and it is never to late to say your sorry. To the measure that you forgive, so will you be forgiven.
The Beatles said, "All You Need Is Love," that's all you need.
Who said love is easy?