The Sunday of Holy Cross

Today we celebrated the Sunday of the Holy Cross. I'm not sure what year it was, but the cross led me to Orthodoxy. It was many years ago when I was praying to find the "true faith" because I was unfulfilled. I had found discrepancies in the faith I was raised in and the bible that I taught class from. Hints came from the bible, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be open to you. So I did. How does one find Orthodoxy in a world or area where there is no literature. I couldn't find any in our local library. Twenty-three years ago, this faith was unheard of in local papers. An Add was a rare event if ever, and since we were not related to anyone of ethnic background, we did not attend weddings, funerals or liturgy. I did have a friend in high school, who is Romanian and she and I attended several picnics together. That's the person who taught me how to dance to "Never On A Sunday."

Looking back, my prayers were answered in a very unusual manner. First it was the cross, a simple wooden budded cross which I fell in love with and purchased with my birthday money from St. Anne's Shrine. I didn't realize the significance of that cross then.

When the time was right, it was an Icon of Mary in a Polish Church in town, which led to an unexpected life change. So fast that prayer was answered in a way that required me to enter into a "cross" so to speak. I should have guessed that finding a different job from a want ad section that I never look at was the beginning of this transition, part of the bigger plan that God was weaving for me. It didn't happen over night, but one day I stepped into an Orthodox Church, and saw the Icon of the Dormition of Mary. Finding that, I found the path to the fullness of faith I had been looking for. Upon entering the church, I saw the cross over the two doors, the one that led me to embrace Orthodoxy.

Today, I thought about my roses in my garden. I could almost smell the aroma, just a memory from last summer and fall. How they give me pleasure just to see them and what a gift they are. Soon, when the forsythia bloom, I will be pruning them, not before. Everything in life has it's own cycle. The blooms rely on our patience. The nourishment we give will help to determine it's beauty and sustain it's life. We all have our own measure of faith as well. Work is also entailed here.

The cross at Liturgy today was surrounded by beautiful roses of different colors arranged on a tray, which we kissed as we left the church, remembering that Jesus wants us to share in the beauty and life that He has to offer us through His suffering, death and resurrection. He wants us to be happy and all we need to do is say "yes," and that means following the cross where ever it leads us.

Eternal happiness is the tomorrow vision, but for today, it is bitter-sweet. We have found the fullness of the faith, and even though the faith is perfect, we are sinners and we must struggle, picking up our own cross and following Him. We stumble and fall over and over again and come to the realization that on this side, we too must suffer.

Does suffering get me to earn my way into heaven? No. Jesus was the only one who could bridge the gap between heaven and earth by His cross.

I clearly understand now that it is because of those you love that you will suffered the most. That cross will make you look for the only true savior, Jesus.

So, be grateful for your cross. When you find it, you will know it through your suffering, tears and bended knee. Only then will you find your way. Because, you will never be able to bear it alone.